Grief Waits For YOU!!

Grief is real.

It isn't pretty.

It is unpredictable.

It’s uncomfortable.

It's messy.

It’s inconvenient.

And yet… it waits for you.

Last Tuesday—the night before I was supposed to leave for a yoga and wellness retreat—our sweet “Benny Olaf Darth Vader” suddenly passed on to the other side.

It was shocking. Sudden. Inconvenient. And deeply heartbreaking.

After we came home from the hospital, I did what I could: I packed my bags, packed up my emotions, and left at 5:00 AM for a three-day retreat with my sister. I shared my profile picture of me and Benny, and so many lovely friends reached out with love, support, and compassion. I felt every bit of it and was so grateful for the love.

Benny and I after our morning walk-1 week before he died.

But still… the questions came:

“Should I cancel my trip?”

“Am I a bad mom for leaving my kids after they watched their favorite pet of 11 years die?”

What I’ve come to realize is this:

It was OK that I went.

It was OK that I felt guilt.

It was OK that I felt a sense of betrayal.

It was OK that I didn’t show up perfectly for my family.

Life gives us moments filled with regret, sadness, and uncertainty — and we’re learning as we go. What matters is meeting ourselves where we are and offering grace and compassion when we don’t get it “right.”

Part of me wishes I had laid down next to Benny while he took his last breaths… but I didn’t know how to do that in the moment. And that’s OK too.

Grief waited for me.

And it found me again — in the airport on my way home — where I suddenly couldn’t stop crying. There I was, the sobbing mom in the middle of the terminal, mourning her walking partner and first beloved family pet.

And as people awkwardly looked away, I realized something important:

When we see someone in pain, we often want to fix it or make it stop.

But what we truly need is someone willing to sit beside us and witness our pain without trying to change it.

That’s how grief moves.

That’s how it heals us.

Not by being solved — but by being seen.

I share this because part of me felt like I had done something wrong… like the timing of Benny’s death and my trip meant I had failed somehow. But what I learned is this:

Grief waits.

Grief returns.

And I will keep showing up — for it, and for my life.

Thank you to everyone who has held space for me and my family. We miss our boy deeply. And we’re learning, moment by moment, how to heal. ❤️🐾

#grief #selfcompassion #grace #healing